Camp Applesauce, a love letter to my kids.

:) Dear Youth Group Kiddos,

SO as you know I didn't have a lot of time to write to all of you and put letters in the love box. Consider this my open letter to all of you.

This year at camp was interesting to say the least. The first year I got to go with my teens without Cecil, and it was definitely lots of trial and error. I wish I had more time to devote to you this year, but kitchen duties had me split in time and I ended up spending way less time with my kids than I ever have before. It was awful, and such a learning experience at the same time.

Mostly because I learned through the "Get in the Car" theme that culinary, if I wasn't sure before, is not my lane! LOL I did great. Food was great, on time, and we had barely a hiccup in the physical prep of meals. But it was agonizing having you (my kids) ask me to go be with you and worship with you, study with you, and not be able to do it because of my head cook commitments. I love to cook, I do. I am skilled. I have all the knowledge and lots more to run a successful kitchen... but it just is not the path God wants me on. And He taught me this year that I need to be with my ministry. It sucked feeling like I had forsaken you for a better part of camp.

But at the same time I feel like we really bonded this year because we missed each other. Terribly missed each other. I got a few moments with each of my kids privately and got caught up on what is going on with them in their lives. And I got a great bonding experience with Catt during a 8 hour ER visit :) Poor baby! It is funny to think that was the highlight of my camp experience this year because Andre, Cat and I got a lot of time to bond and talk and laugh. It was nice not to think of the kitchen and focus on ministering to her and encouraging her. She is such a special, beautiful girl.

Brooke and I had lots of time to cry and bond and rediscover that it's ok to reach out and trust. We share a life story that not many would want, but I know God is walking you through a wilderness and strengthening you, I can't wait to see your faith ignite. Brendan --we had lots of mother/son moments :D I appreciate that you trust me enough to seek my counsel. You are strong and growing in God's love. Stacy could make me smile even on my most stressful day with her optimism and strength. You can stand in the face of adversity and walk forward. Not all of us can say we can thrive in such circumstances, but you show us it's possible. Cody led his first public prayer, and did tremendously. He has found a respect for me, and I for him, and he's like my boy. He is so sweet. He did more than I can say to reach out and provide comfort to our kids my mini-encourager in the making! Tiffany, my sweet, bright light of happiness. You are so positive and a force of joy to be reckoned with. Seeing her each day and hearing her encourage me made the separation from my group easier (awful but easier). Audrey, my beautiful girl. She is my quiet proverbs woman. Winning others over with your gentle and quiet spirit, you are leading your peers by example. She walks the walk before talking the talk. Wow, blows me away!  Keith, the peace of our group. You smile and carry on and lighten the mood with humor and laughter. He keeps me grounded and focused and helps me not to take things too seriously, reminds me constantly God is with us always. Preston and Graham. --Preston you blew me away this year. You are thoughtful and focused and deep. You know what God wants and expects from you and you examine carefully before stepping forward. I wish more of us considered this before we jumped in over our heads. Graham you can speak plainly the life God has shown you, and I have so much respect for you. You are truly wise beyond years, even though I'm not sure you realize it. Together, your song brought us all to a closer understanding of how God is calling us to Him. It was beautiful and simple and eloquent at the same time. I could not be prouder. I kept looking at Jess going, those are MY kids!!!

You all have grown by leaps and bounds in the last year. I love serving you. I love you. I am so PROUD of all of you. You all make this choice to get in the trenches with the teens worth it. It isn't easy, but it's worth it. Jonathan and I are looking forward to the future with all of you. We can't wait to see what the next year brings.

Thank you Brooke, Catt, Preston, Graham, Keith, Stacy, Tiffany, Brendan, Audrey and Cody. You make me endlessly proud!

See ya on Wednesday!
Love,
Ashley