Onward and Upward

For 10 years my life has sat on a shelf collecting dust. I have been somewhat satisfied to just leave it there, mostly because chasing your dreams is scary. If you fail, that's it. End of dream. Or amend dream, or find new dream.

I've got a lot of things I aspire to be or do. Life is actually easy to lead without having to look at where you want to ultimately end up, and for the most part I have been satisfied with not realizing them yet. I've lived in the moment for 10 years and while it's been valuable time this girl is dying inside.

I've had the time to earn some real life experiences and now it seems I've gotten everything I need to move forward. I'm glad that I've let the dreams sit there for years on a shelf because frankly, I wouldn't have trusted my dreams in the hands of my 18 year old self.

Suddenly everything I want carries more weight, it has a heaviness that resounds with importance and I'm not sure I understood that ten years ago.

I am done putting myself on a shelf. I am ready to move forward. I'm ready for major change. I am cutting some things that are superfluous from my life, and filling up the space with difference. Weighing my options, I know where I want to be. I want to be in school. I want an education. Like Great Grandma always said, education is the one thing a man can never steal from you. I want to be home. I want to be in Charleston. I am doing what it's going to take to get me home, to be in my city, to learn and know more.

I'm telling everyone to expect it. Praying God will allow the change to happen and to move me forward onto bigger things and greater understanding of the woman He made me to be.

Onward.