Joy, Happiness, Negativity and Facebook.

Do you know the difference between joy and happiness? There's a difference. Read on to find out what it is! 

I love facebook. It is a really awesome way for me to keep up with all my friends and family who live far away, and for a mom who is largely stuck in the house it provides me a way to interact with the outside world. It can be fun, funny, encouraging and uplifting. Yes, sometimes it sure can. But mostly (unfortunately) facebook comes with a price... you get a very powerful and unpleasant super power.  The power to read people's minds. It makes me impressed with some and disappointed in others. It makes me laugh at the inner comic in a lot of people (who knew quiet so-and-so was funny?) and shake my head with how quickly people can sink to a nasty level. 

It can infect people faster than a walk through a 19th century tuberculosis ward. If it plants the infectious negativity seed in your heart, it can root a plant that flowers with anger, insensitivity, meanness, judgement, hopelessness, discontent, and rudeness. With the click of a mouse not only can you post a snarky wall post about your neighbor, but you can post a plethora of negative news stories from various websites. You can post a song about how much life sucks. Before long you have dozens of "likes" on one of these things from people who feel the same way. 

You can announce "I'm doing some major cleaning of my friends list, some of you people are out of here!" and then maybe five-ten minutes later post, "well if you can read this post you made the cut! You're still my friend!" ... wow... what a wonderful way to either make people beg for your friendship or feel really bad when you delete them. 

You can vent your emotion so easily... 

Bad day at work? "MY BOSS IS FROM HELL!" 

Breakup with your girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse: "I can do better than you dirtbag!" (It's really hard for me to write something nastier, bear with me, but you know--- you have read something along those lines)

Or ...no need to raise your hand, have you ever read (or posted) : "AGH! I just spilled a Wendy's frosty on my crotch! FML!" (Forget my life... the somewhat kinder sister of what most people mean, which is F*** my life!) So you're saying your life is worthless.  

How many times a day do we read: I hate __________. 

Not clear enough? Breathe easy--you always have the option of posting a nasty picture or sign. 

One of my favorite Facebook techniques is the following: a status that simply says " :( " Obviously you're upset...am I supposed to ask? Am I not supposed to ask? Am I supposed to like this? What this says to me is pay attention to me please but be utterly confused as to what I mean. Usually what I post back is this: :) But it isn't long before someone has posted below me: What's wrong? and soon it comes out --- everything from I'm out of milk to I got into a car accident... but I definitely need to air this in front of everyone. I'm not sure how I feel about this but since I have the forum, let me just ask... can we get together and agree to elaborate or just hold it in?

Facebook can give you the illusion those profiles aren't connected to real people. It makes it easy for us to vent. Here's the problem with venting... when you vent to someone like a close friend or a husband, most of the time they can see the whole picture (a rough day, a series of rough days, striking out time and time again) on Facebook people don't see that. What we see is: "Going to visit my Grandma!" and later, "My family is so messed up! I hate them!" Pretty soon distant great-aunt Sally sees this and gets upset and calls Grandma and says, "Hey, Marcy just posted on Facebook that she hates you!" Maybe what really happened was that drunk Uncle Billy came and did something silly and it was really aggravating and made you mad, but what we all just saw was Marcy hates Grandma. That seed of negativity blossomed into anger which got picked and placed in the vase of drama. 

Emotion is real. It's intense, it gets the better of us. Maybe it's only a flash and in a few minutes, hours, days, it's over. It's easy to move on. But when it's put on display in the forum of Facebook, guess what, it's there to be referenced for all eternity. Even if you delete it because we all have that sweet print screen function and pretty soon your private thoughts are being laughed at by millions on Failbook, and now your negativity has just reached exponential levels.

I'm not trying to single any one person out at all... I'm not trying to anger someone.... but I am trying to point out that your powers can be used for evil OR for good. 

This is my resolution... From this day forward I'm not posting anything negative. My thoughts, no matter it be in what I like or what I say, will be rephrased to show the positive. Even if I'm disappointed or angry. Instead of venting, I will simply say, "wow today was really discouraging, prayers please." If my emotion ever specifically involves another person (especially if I am friends with them on Facebook) I am not going to post it unless it's positive. Period. No exceptions. 

I will keep my snarkiness to a minimum. 

I will not post articles or thoughts on politics (or comment or like others thoughts)... it's just annoying to those who don't agree with my opinions, it's confusing for those who don't share my moral beliefs, and it's just boring to a lot of people.  

I am not going to post any song, video, or picture that is negative. 

I'm not going to make any broad generalizations--- because as soon as you make a generalization about restless leg syndrome, one of your friends for sure will be hurt because they, too, suffer from RLS. 

I'm not going to criticize others, reprimand others or argue with others on Facebook. If I have a problem, I'm going to be woman enough to go see that person face to face and make it right. 

I'm not going to post an article that can lead to people assessing "the problem of the world today" or "the problem with this generation or that generation" .... why? because your opinion will be offensive to someone. I guarantee it. 

I'm going to make my wall a positive place, a place of encouragement. 

Examine your own profile, I challenge you... are you guilty of perpetuating a negative feeling? I am sometimes. Are you guilty of using facebook for just fluff? (Justin Bieber is so hot!) There's nothing wrong with fluff, but what if we used it to achieve a purpose?

My friends Facebook can be a really powerful tool for a Christian (or just a positive person for that matter). With one click you can plant a seed of positivity. One that can bloom into thankfulness, grace, joy, kindness, peace, encouragement, comfort, love, strength. 

Now... I know I cannot please everyone, but I'm going to strive to be true to God. As a Christian I think a lot of people force this idea of "you have to change the world!" on you. First of all, the one who came to change the world has been and gone and risen (and it wasn't me!). His name is Jesus btw, if you want to know more, see me. ;) I would like to think of myself as a tiny little tile on the mosaic of His movement. I am not the source of anyone's faith. I am a tiny tile on the mosaic of a lot of people's faith.

Happiness is a good, fleeting feeling. Joy is a perpetual emotion. One comes from something light and momentary, one comes from the one above (I believe, anyway).  The more we find ways to uplift each other, the more people know the nature of God. God is not out to zap people with lightning bolts... God is at the very core joy. God is love.