Somewhere...

Day after tomorrow I get to go home to see my mother and my sister. :) It's been two years coming, and I am so thankful that the Lord is blessing me with the trip.

I've been thinking today about loss and gain. I've lost a great many things in a year. But in a year I've gained a great many things. The dearest of which is the knowledge that the love of my Father is always surrounding me. It follows me and carries me along. No one can separate us.

There are things in this life that you can pursue that will bring momentary steadiness of nerves, momentary satisfaction. But God surrounds us with a peace that repeats and repeats His love. Each moment that passes is a continued pledge over you, that no matter where you are He deeply loves you. How blessed I can consider myself that He continues to hold me close to Him and knows me better than I know myself.

I love my husband, I love my children, I love my family, all are from my Father. He has fixed what is broken beyond what any physician can heal.

When I was a little girl, I loved the movie the Wizard of Oz. I dreamed of going over the rainbow like Judy Garland and being in a place of peace, somewhere prepared just for me. I know, and can rest happily in the knowledge that as long as my faith and love of Christ continues there is that place for me. A place in heaven with my Father, and a place where I will only ever know love. I know I have two twin girls there waiting for me. I know those of my family who've gone on before me are there.

I know that the son of God, Jesus Christ, is there. The One who gave it all for me, so that I may be where He is.

And when you think about it, how can there ever be loss when you have gained it all?


See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! - 1 John 3:1

Baxter

A few months ago I went to the church building to learn how to make gumbo from a guy who is from Louisiana. In the course of the day I learned the recipe, but also found out the man's girlfriend was moving and looking to get rid of her Australian Shepherd-Australian Cattle Dog mix. His name was B-Boy. I was interested in getting another dog for our sweet girl Gracie. 

Gracie is a red and white border collie. We've had her for about 8 and 1/2 years. She's a great dog, but keeps mostly to herself and prefers the company of other dogs to other people. 

B-boy came to live with us in April. He was extremely cautious and hadn't had much socialization. Since he had been neutered too early and peed nervously a lot, I was informed he spent pretty much all of his time outside and had been since he was born (he was 8 months old). I was advised to keep him as an outside dog because he was also not very bright and very destructive and liked to chew. I was a little nervous but found him a little funny. 

He growled at me a little from the arms of his previous master but something about his sweet face made me want to laugh at him. He clearly had an ego problem and no size to back it up. After the previous owners left him with me, relieved because "he's a lot of work" but also nervous looking as they left, B-boy sniffed out his new digs. I tried to get him to come to me but he was skittish and wouldn't bother. I was also told B-boy did not like food--- dog food, people food or treats and would be difficult to feed. I tried feeding him one of his treats in the hopes of building trust but he spit it out. I looked at the organic nutro-nutrious green puppy treats. I would have spit that out too. I had just made my kids some microwaved kettle corn and tossed him a piece. He sniffed it and came right over. And pretty soon, B-boy and I bonded. 

All of a sudden, I realized B-Boy was much more than the dog they said he was. He was incredibly intelligent.  He was virtually housebroken by the second day, and would not leave my side. Any where I went this bouncy little dog followed, even to the bathroom. From day one, I refused to leave him outside. He didn't like spending time out there except to chase Gracie or go to the bathroom. His favorite place to sleep was on top of my legs in our bed (which I've never had a dog want to do before). He was incredibly affectionate and I realized a better name for him would have been Velcro. We bonded very quickly. My husband and I decided that B-Boy just wasn't the best name for him, it was too aloof and not personal enough for this warm and affectionate boy. And so we renamed him Baxter (yes, after that Baxter, from Anchorman). 

We spent most of our time together. If I washed dishes, Baxter laid on my feet as I did them. If I watched tv, Baxter sat with me and watched tv. Even right now, as I blog, Baxter is laying on the bed next to me in front of my crochet bag. He is without a doubt, the big furry band-aid on my soul. Baxter brought me this one day over the summer. I really believe he knows I love birds ( if you know me, you know why) and one morning he brought this to me, laid it at my feet and wagged his tail with pride "Here Mom I made this out of macaroni for you!" I was honestly touched by his gift. He even dug a hole for me to bury it in. 

I can't help but wonder, what was Bax's life like before us? This dog was absolutely nothing like the one that had been described to me. The other owners had to choose between him and another dog which one they would keep, and which one they would give away. I have to wonder... why would they ever want to get rid of him, he is the best dog a girl could have!

 A lot of dogs I know think they are people, but I've never met a dog who is more happy to be a dog and yet has more affection like a little boy. He fits in right with our kids and plays with them for hours a day. He needs them, he needs us. He is in love with his own reflection and loves looking at himself in the windows. His favorite food is kettle corn, and for a piece of cheese he will do anything you ask even get in his kennel. He will gladly endure any sort of play with a Baxter-sized sense of humor. This morning we had a bandanna tied around his head like a granny kerchief, which he, and we, found very amusing.

I hate to put him in the kennel, but Baxter hates to be alone. And when he hates to be alone, he gets destructive. And somehow, it's only destructive toward my things (my clothes, shoes, crochet supplies, papers...which incidentally works out well for the rest of the family). He hates when I leave him and I hate leaving him.

He's part kangaroo, part teddy bear. If there's anyone who has his personality I swear to you it's Snoopy from Peanuts. 

Baxter, I fully believe was an "I love you" from God. There has been so much hurt and heartache this year, and I was a shell of my former self. What took one man mere hours to wrench from my life, Baxter brought back into it with warmth and pure joy. He knew I was hurting and I think he was hurting too. 

I've been through it, but I'm still here and Baxter has everything to do with it. 

Thoughts on door knocking...

Just had my door knocked by some Jehovah's witnesses! LOL Usually I don't mind a door knocking, but this was crazy! I have never walked away from a door knocking shaking, trembling with anger. I got called a pharisee and a sinner whose prayer God cannot hear. WHAT? How is that going to bring people to Christ?! I guess that was their fear-up-harsh approach. Little did they know they were knocking on my door and I don't take being beat up with scripture especially in the name of Jesus. It made me sad that they were willing to go door-to-door telling people God could not hear them if they weren't a Jehovah's Witness. So I told her that.

I told her Jesus met needs first before teaching anything. He brought a teaching filled with love foremost, not filled with doom. She told me meeting needs only drudged up "membership numbers" and filled pews with people who mooch off the church. She then told me I was denominational, but couldn't tell me what denomination was.  I told her that there were "holy" people who weren't going to make it, and then she called me a Pharisee. I showed her scripture to back up what I was saying and invited her to church and she got ticked and left.

WOW. I have knocked doors before, but what we asked is if they needed anything. We did everything from giving food to people to putting tires on people's cars to helping someone put a roof on. Some came back, some didn't. But we cared for them and carried out work for them before we ever cracked a Bible. If someone wants to learn let them know you care before you do anything otherwise it's hollow. No one wants to feel like a checkbox on your list of things to do before you die.


Does God Hear Sinners? Well...

This concept comes from John 9:31, "We know that God does not listen to sinners." But as with all scripture, we must not take it out of context.

Who said this? Was it God, Jesus, an apostle, or a prophet? No, it was a blind man that Jesus healed who was speaking to the Pharisees. Was he divinely inspired to say such a thing?

From John 9, we see the blind man did not seek out Jesus, but Jesus healed him to teach His disciples a lesson. We can't tell how much knowledge the blind man had of Jesus. He did say Jesus was a prophet (v.17), and had disciples (v.27), but he did not know if Jesus was a sinner or not (v.25). We do know his parent had close ties to the synagogue (v.22), so maybe he heard this concept taught by the Jewish leaders.
So, does God listen to the prayers of sinners?

I hope so, since we have all sinned (1 John 1:8). In the prayer Jesus taught His disciples, He said, "Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors" (Matthew 6:12). There is also the parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector found in Luke 18. The latter prayed, "God, have mercy on me, a sinner" (v.13). Jesus said, "this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God" (v.14).

Probably the best account of a sinner praying is Cornelius of Acts 10. It says he "prayed
to God regularly" (v.2). Luke records that Cornelius was "devout and God-fearing" (v.2), but he was not a Christian. God sent an angel to him which said, "Your prayers and gifts to the poor have come up as a memorial offering before God" (v.5). Eventually, he heard the gospel from Peter and was baptized.

From these scriptures, we can see that God does listen to the prayers of sinners. And keep in mind, we may be God's answer to those prayers.

Do I think God can have anything to do with sin? No. But I believe that you can be sincere and sincerely wrong, and by telling someone something that will shatter them and perhaps their faith, and their willingness to hear, even with good intention, you're committing a sin as well and maybe more lost than the person you're evangelizing to.

I do believe God can hear anyone. He's God! He cares for everyone. He desperately desires everyone... doesn't matter if you're sinner, Christian, woman, man, black, white, pink, purple or polka dot.

Take Heart Daughter

Jesus turned and saw her. “Take heart, daughter,” he said, “your faith has healed you.” And the woman was healed at that moment. - Matthew 9:22


Send forth your light and your truth,
   let them guide me;
let them bring me to your holy mountain,
   to the place where you dwell. - Ps 43:3


Walk about Zion, go around her,
   count her towers,
consider well her ramparts,
   view her citadels,
   that you may tell of them to the next generation.
For this God is our God for ever and ever;
   he will be our guide even to the end.- Ps 48:12-14



When my heart was grieved
   and my spirit embittered, 
I was senseless and ignorant;
   I was a brute beast before you.
Yet I am always with you;
   you hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
   and afterward you will take me into glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
   And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
   but God is the strength of my heart
   and my portion forever.
Those who are far from you will perish;
   you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.
But as for me, it is good to be near God. 
   I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge;
   I will tell of all your deeds. -Ps 73:21-28


There are lots of things I can write, but these scriptures say it all. I begin with Jesus... I don't know if any other scripture reads as sweetly to my eyes. Jesus speaks to me through this scripture. When the worst had befallen me, when I was ordinary, unnoticed or avoided by the world, Jesus saw me and crept down in the dust beside me. He found me in the worst of it all. He asked me to believe, to trust, to look to Him. And I did. 


I was once lost and tossed in a sea of worry. I was taken under by every wave, each one crashed on me. The difference between me now and me then is this... I'm still in the sea, but now I know to keep holding on. A little longer, a little longer. I wish there was a stronger way to express how I feel but I *know*, I am absolutely certain, God is with me. 


We have a big God. We have a faithful God. We have a compassionate, patient God. Everything about God is light, love, truth, peace. He's never done harm to us. He holds us when the world comes crashing down, when it all seems too much, when we've lost everything...even a brother, even a son. He is with me in the darkest pain, in the heaviest, most tormenting heartache. He relieves shame. He cleanses and makes new. He creates and sustains something lasting in you.  You can hide yourself in God, you can talk to Him and tell Him everything that's on your heart. You can ask Him to hide you away for a while. And He will. In the Spring something rattled my already shaky heart, and I just asked Him to please take the situation from me and hide me somewhere quiet. And He did. I'm still in the quiet in which He's keeping me. 


I ask Him for His guidance, for His wisdom. But you have to be willing. God will guide the willing.

God will take pain from you. It might be an everyday request, but He will do it for you. Ask Him to show you how much He loves you. Be looking for those little love letters from God. I really believe every time I see a bird God sends them to remind me of His love. I love birds, I always have. They remind me of my Grandmother. They remind me of peace and harmony. Today God surprised me with a flock of doves that flew out of tall grass in my back yard. It was beautiful. One time he sent a hummingbird while I was outside praying, and it came literally 4 inches from my face. :)

Don't be troubled. Don't be sad. The God from age to age, from Adam and Moses until now is with you. Surrounding you, protecting you, holding you and hiding you away. He wants to hold onto you, just like a parent longs to hold their baby.


"Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God." Ps 43:5


"You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance." Ps 32:7


Take heart. Each time I read and remember these things it's harder to penetrate my faith. 

The Reason

After they had mocked him, they took off the robe and put his own clothes on him. Then they led him away to crucify him.

When they had crucified him, they divided up his clothes by casting lots.

Pilate had a notice prepared and fastened to the cross. It read: JESUS OF NAZARETH, THE KING OF THE JEWS. 

Those who passed by hurled insults at him, shaking their heads and saying, “You who are going to destroy the temple and build it in three days, save yourself! Come down from the cross, if you are the Son of God!” 

About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”) And when Jesus had cried out again in a loud voice, he gave up his spirit.

 Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us, for it is written: “Cursed is everyone who is hung on a tree.” 

But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ...and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross. 

May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.

Matthew 27:31,35; John 19:19; Matthew 27:39, 40, 46, 50; Galatians 3:13; Eph 2:13; Colossians 1:20; Galatians 6:14.